Men matter more. That is something that is repeated in the world but is rarely said aloud. Instead, it takes place through actions and burdens put on women to carry on their way through life. There is an extreme gender bias in research where most of the studies are done only on men.
Growing up, women are taught to cater to men. I just read a short story called “Girl” by Jamaica Kincaid. The mother gives instructions to the daughter of her responsibilities now that she is going from a girl to a woman. Much includes cooking, cleaning, ironing, and the most important thing is to not be a slut. Men are never told to save themselves for the one. It is a complete double standard, and it supports the idea that if you are born a man, you are born privileged.
“Privilege is invisible to those who have it.” I do not have to think about my race every day. If I am walking down the street, I will not be stopped and frisked. If I get pulled over, I do not have to worry about being harassed or shot for no reason. More times than not, I am let go with a warning. I am a white straight female born to a middle-class family, and I am privileged. I do not think many people in my family can admit they have white privilege. And why? It is because it is invisible to those who have it. When I try to bring it up, they merely respond with the idea that everyone has a hard life. However, it is not the same thing. I watched a great movie called “I am Not Your Negro” based on the unfinished manuscript of James Baldwin. It was more than a movie. It allowed me to see the world through the eyes of African American children being spit on going to school at the end of segregation. I got a glimpse of cruel police brutality from the ’60s and the revolutionary figures, Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr. James Baldwin himself had barriers of intersectionality to overcome. He was an African American gay man, and because of that, I do not think he got enough recognition for the brilliant scholar he was.
Intersectionality interconnects race, gender, sexual orientation, disability, and class as applied to certain persons or groups, creating overlapping discrimination and disadvantage systems. It made me think how lucky I am to have been born the person I am. Many have a much harder walk-in life at no fault of their own. For instance, for a lady with a disability, imagine how hard it is for her to go to the coffee shop and have a cup of coffee. She would need to hold the cup with her mouth, all the while being embarrassed about how she is viewed. It is frowned upon to ask for help, but it should not be. We all need help from time to time. If we were kind to that person instead of judging, it would make all the difference to them and all those around us.
Marilyn Frye’s “Oppression,” said, “all humans experience suffering and limitation,” but not all experience oppression. She compares the oppression of a woman to a bird in a cage. It can be hard to understand why the bird does not just fly out if you look closely. But by seeing the whole picture, the entire cage, you understand the bird cannot escape. Women, members of certain classes, and races are all oppressed.
Donald Trump brought out so much hate in America. It was always there, but he made it acceptable to have these awful views and thoughts. He showed America their reflection, and there was no denying how hideous it was. During those four years, numerous hate crimes occurred against Jewish, African Americans, and the LGBTQ communities. The presidency of Donald Trump was like a tumor that needed to be cut out. We saw how detrimental those thoughts were, and only now that he is gone can we try to begin to heal, but we still have a long way to go.
The Ram Dass quote, “When you go out into the woods, and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever. And you look at the tree and you allow it. You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it did not get enough light, and so it turned that way. And you do not get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree. The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying ‘You are too this, or I’m too this.’ That judgment mind comes in. And so, I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are.”
He applies that thought process to people. I wish we all could. All the uniqueness we possess is what makes us who we are. However, trends make corporations substantial money by having everyone wear baggy jeans or crop tops, etc. It invigorates me to go against the grain and wear what I want. Vintage and thrift shops are my favorite pastime. One day I hope we can come together and have more of a community mentality. Rather than judge someone for their differences, instead, compliment and appreciate them for being who they are. One day I hope we acknowledge we are all humans worthy of love, kindness, and respect.
